A little technical difficulties with my story...here's the first bit:

Chapter 1
A thunderous crash shook the building as I dove under the
checkout desk. A last standing shelf crashed through the computer
next to me, narrowly missing my left hand. At long last the
rumbling stopped and I crawled out from the desk.
My foot kicked a copy of Where the Red Fern Grows across
the floor. I picked it up and mournfully stuck in my pack.
I climbed up onto the destroyed remains of the massive
skylight array. Mt. Rainier smoked in the distance. A flicker of
light caught my eye before all went black.

I know its short.
I'd appreciate input...don't forget to vote for your fave (read: mine)

Kaeyln and I are challenging Quintin to a story writing contest.
My bits coming up.

Kaeyln's Blog: ajax-the-warrior
Quintin's Blog: ultimatebunnyfreak

Question

question--
would you drink liquid dihydrogen monoxcide?

PS if you know the point behind this, dont say it!!1!

Question of the Week

Why is homework necessary?

YAWN
fav thing for English is the personal reading bits.